Nakita Vang Nakita Vang

When Good People Break Up

I used to think that people only break up because one person was bad--that was the black and white world of young me. Because why would two good people who cared for each other, ever need to give up on each other?  Why be alone, when you could just be together? And if you’re both good, then what could be so bad?

25 years old and two long term relationships later, I’m blessed enough to know that, that is possible. That love and relationships are so complex and so dynamic, that any scenario you could think of and never think of, can happen. 

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Nakita Vang Nakita Vang

Why We Need Hmong (POC) Therapists

Over the years, I’ve heard friends and family tell me they didn’t believe in therapy, they didn’t believe in someone who didn’t know them—just talking at them and telling them what to do.

Firstly, a good therapist wouldn’t do those things, but mostly, the right therapist for you would be exactly what you needed and how you needed them. 

So I guess this is my letter to the high school grad wondering what they want to do, to the psychology student ready to give up, and the college grads that aren’t sure where they will fit. And this is a thank you to all our amazing Hmong therapists, who are already out there practicing.

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Nakita Vang Nakita Vang

Don't Marry Her.

If I could go back, in all the unhappy marriages of time, in all the marriages of our Hmong generations, I would tell you:

Don’t marry her. Please don’t marry her.

Don’t marry her, if all that she embodies will only be a life sentence, and not a life blessing.

Don’t marry her, if she is not the beginning and only the end.

Don’t marry her, if years and children down later, you believe you would’ve lived a better life without her.

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Nakita Vang Nakita Vang

Rejection is Redirection

You hear this all the time, but I think it’s important to say it again: Rejection is Redirection.

Because it never gets easier—rejection always hurts and if not, stings a little.

Whether it’s the rejection of a job, an opportunity, a friend, or a relationship, each door that closes, another surely opens. Because if every door stayed closed forever, life would just be static, it wouldn’t exist. Looking back, you will see how everything that has ever happened—good or bad— built you up for this moment in some way, shape, or form.

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Nakita Vang Nakita Vang

What I Learned Quitting My Job To Be My Own Boss

I was lost the entirety of my undergrad years, weighing two ideas of either becoming an event planner, or doing something in the marketing/advertising world. I graduated, and within a few years, burnt out from event planning. I moved across the world to teach English in South Korea. And when you’re in a foreign country alone, you learn that you have a lot of time. So I gave myself the year to do whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted, so I could see what I am naturally drawn to. I came home with a lot of clarity, seeing that I could stay up and write until the AM, create photos, graphics, and edit videos without anyone telling me to do so. I took on various jobs that allowed me to do these things, but found spaces outside of work that let me be my full potential. That’s how I began to plant the seeds of freelance without knowing it—I just did what I liked, people saw, and those that needed me, found me.

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Nakita Vang Nakita Vang

Gender Equity is Not the Loss of Hmong Culture.

When articles and posts about “Gender Equity” and “Hmong Feminism” arises, there is always a handful of defensive comments that plaster those concepts as “White Washed,” “Hating Hmong Men,” “Perpetuating Hmong Men as Bad,” etc. 

But it’s not about those things at all. At least, that’s not what I mean. Hear me out brothers, this one's for you too.


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