On the funeral day of one of our greatest grandmothers (Youa Chang), we lost the very last of our Yang clan's oldest elders: our great-grandfather, Nyiaj Ntxawg Yaj. 2017 has been funeral after funeral for our family. Maybe like all. Or maybe it is the time.

But at the news of every death, there is a pause.

Pause.

All my fears & worries--pause. All the things I thought was important--pause.

Pictured above is a man, with 105 years of wisdom and experiences instilled within him. Every freckle, and every wrinkle. He was the symbol of longevity. Till his last day, even if weaker, he was still standing.

For all the couples who cannot publicly celebrate today...taboo couples, couples in hiding, couples who cannot speak of their existence: I hope you celebrate your love proudly and fully today. For the beautiful unification that you are, the ability to love beyond society’s norms; be it gender, race, social status, disapproval, or last name; the capacity to pave paths unwalked, and the belief in something greater than eyes know.

To heal through my breakup, I did a variety of research; to dismantle my experience and understand a world outside mine. One of them, was to learn of heartbreaks other than mine, to see amazing people survive out of these dark times. Dark times that were even darker than mine; because someone will always have it worse. I found my way to befriending Hmong women of all ages, of all stories. Stories that were always sad and pitiful, until after my heartbreak, were now heart-shattering, gut-wrenching, and real. So painfully real. Although my words won't do them justice, may I please write this one for them.

Yesterday was #NationalComingOutDay and I could only admire in silence, all the stories of triumph, bravery and self-acceptance that the individuals I have been blessed to know, have lived through. An experience that I know even a 63,206 Facebook post character limit couldn't do justice to. But I realize, I never got to live my 'coming out' day.

Because for the longest time, I couldn't find a place to belong. And so I confided in the stories I'd see on the news that most hit home for me--the stories of the LGBTQ community.