Healing from Heartbreak

I’m often asked about heartbreak and how to “get over it.” But it’s hard to jump back into a place you are so far removed from. When you’re going through it, the days feel so long–as if the pain will never pass. But when you’re out, it becomes a faint memory of the past. This one is for a sister in my dms, newly navigating her divorce.

Heartbreak, I think, is one of the most excruciating human experiences. And only those who have been broken so deeply, know how it feels to be so broken, that it changes you forever. Because there is nothing left of who you were. And it marks a before and after, of the you before the pain, and the you after.

But that’s the thing. You never “get over” heartbreak. You can only go through it, and if you let it, you can grow through it. And you get to build and choose, who the “you” after, gets to be.

That requires you to let go, and accept what is. Let go of how you wanted this to be, of who you and that person were or who you wanted them to be, and the life you had together. Let go of all control–of outcomes, of others, and allow time and the universe to do its thing.

Fill your sorrow with joy, your loneliness with good people, your losses with gratitude. Fill your time with things that make you laugh. Find all the things you’ve forgotten about; yourself, your friends, your childhood dreams. And discover all the things you’ve never known; your potential, your new dreams. Every time you spiral on where and what went wrong, and how they are doing, bring the focus back on you.

Often, it’s not just the person we have to heal from, but it’s also how this relationship made us feel about ourselves. And our fear of the unknown, of what happens next.

I don’t know what that will be for you, but I just know that if I never embraced each of my heartbreaks, I would’ve never met the current version of myself and get to live the life that I have now.

So I hope you have the courage, to stride forward, and to know you will always eventually be okay. As long as you never give up on you, and you choose yourself, each and every day.

Please leave some love for our friends going through heartbreak/divorce ❤️