How do I say this in a way that you will hear me? Hear me pleading for the Hmong women who didn’t know better and could only do the best they could to love you. How can I say it in a way that doesn’t coddle and cushion what you did and have no interest to care for? Because I want to speak for her, who binned by society's dead ends, cannot say so herself.

It is almost safe to say that ever since you left, I have been sick for so many days and I have cried almost every of those days. Even if the heart & mind wants to forget, the body always remembers. The trauma that is left upon it. I guess you can also say that is my body resetting. Reclaiming what is mine. Like how a chiropractor may leave your body aching even more after resetting your joints and muscles. Because you don’t realize the gradual damage that has been done to it. Now it’s time to reset it again.

Healing comes in waves.