To My Cousins: What I Wish You Knew
A morbid beginning, but I think from a young age, I learned what death meant; I learned how much our lives were structured around this moment; I learned that you needed people, I learned the importance of family, I learned the feeling of loving and giving, hurting and not receiving, but also the power of being the example you wanted. I know life gets busy, I know showing up at family events and helping out feels like you give more than you get in return, and I know being there feels useless at times...
What I Learned When I Put My Grandma in Front of the Camera
It must be the timing of life, but documenting our family stories and elders seem to be in more need than ever. Or maybe we, in this generation, are just older now so it's more relevant. I've lost all the elders in my life that I didn't realize I'd have to say goodbye to one day, and all I have left is my grandmother. My love for her, is one that has especially grown with the lost of every loved one out of pain for the things I didn't do for them.
For my grandma's 77th, I wanted to change that. I wanted to finally start everything I always wanted to do, everything I said I would do "later" when I had "time."
Well, time is not coming. And it is not staying.
The Last of Our Elders: 23 to 105.
On the funeral day of one of our greatest grandmothers (Youa Chang), we lost the very last of our Yang clan's oldest elders: our great-grandfather, Nyiaj Ntxawg Yaj. 2017 has been funeral after funeral for our family. Maybe like all. Or maybe it is the time.
But at the news of every death, there is a pause.
Pause.
All my fears & worries--pause. All the things I thought was important--pause.
Pictured above is a man, with 105 years of wisdom and experiences instilled within him. Every freckle, and every wrinkle. He was the symbol of longevity. Till his last day, even if weaker, he was still standing.