If I could go back, in all the unhappy marriages of time, in all the marriages of our Hmong generations, I would tell you:

Don’t marry her. Please don’t marry her.

Don’t marry her, if all that she embodies will only be a life sentence, and not a life blessing.

Don’t marry her, if she is not the beginning and only the end.

Don’t marry her, if years and children down later, you believe you would’ve lived a better life without her.

To heal through my breakup, I did a variety of research; to dismantle my experience and understand a world outside mine. One of them, was to learn of heartbreaks other than mine, to see amazing people survive out of these dark times. Dark times that were even darker than mine; because someone will always have it worse. I found my way to befriending Hmong women of all ages, of all stories. Stories that were always sad and pitiful, until after my heartbreak, were now heart-shattering, gut-wrenching, and real. So painfully real. Although my words won't do them justice, may I please write this one for them.