How I Wish Death Was

We live in a time where we are constantly working on how to better ourselves and the world. And as someone who has a habit of wanting to fix things, wanting to share ideas to lessen the world’s hurt, there is one thing I cannot change, I could never change, now matter how hard I would want to try.

I truly wish I could change the way we died.

We lose loved ones, left to right these days. It doesn’t matter about race, age, wealth or health. 

It could be you, it could be me.

It could be a child before their parents, it could be a spouse before their wrinkly days.

It doesn’t always have a reason, a timeline, or a known cause.

And it never happens when we’re ready. We will never be ready. 

When we live, life is too long. But when we’re dying, life is too short.

And I know this sounds silly, but if we had to die, if we had to have no choice,

I wish the universe would at least give us a sign.

That it would let us know, that it would be our time to go.

That we would have a number of days, to say all our goodbyes; to act upon a list, that would let our hearts smile and cry, to make memories for the very last time.

So we could leave with peace, with our hearts and minds prepared. 

Our souls, full knowing how hard we have lived.

Whether we’re the ones to leave or the ones who are left.

I wish death could be this way if heaven so badly needed us to return. 

Because if death exists so we would live mindfully in fear, then the least they could do, was let us know.

Because no matter what, we all still don’t want to die. We all still don’t want to lose loved ones.

We really just don’t want to say goodbye. We don’t want to imagine a life we don’t know, love without the faces we’re used to.

But we would all wish for the chance to say goodbye instead of nothing at all.

Unfortunately, this must be the goal of the game, for the universe watching us from above, that we don’t get to know when it’s ours’ or our loved ones’ turn.

That it’s up to us on how we live, balancing both fear and mindfulness to live lives that we would be proud of, whenever that moment comes for us.

“There are two questions that come up in the end...were you happy? And did you make those around you happy?” -Cha Yu Ri, Hi, Bye Mama!